Writing a post this week has been the hardest thing in the world for no particular reason. But while looking for something to write about I’ve watched multiple friendships people made last year explode messily into arguments and sudden animosity and it’s sad. It’s really, really sad. There are lots of things in life that are complicated and annoying and difficult, paying your bills and uni fees and ants in your kitchen for example, but loving your friends should never be one of them.
Because friendship should be as simple as finding the people who make you happy. Who make you laugh and go dancing with you. Who call you to have a few beers and a chat. Who lie around in their pyjamas with you while you all eat too much food and laugh at dumb videos on your phone.
And when you find those people who make you happy – the friends who make you a better person because you know them – it’s really as simple as loving them. Which sounds cheesy but I also think it’s true. Those people who will make you laugh when you’re about to cry, or bake you brownie when you’re sick, or will drive to your house in the middle of the night to check if you’re alright. Loving those people is the easiest thing in the world.
Because who really cares about who bought what, or who wore what, or what other people have to say about things? My friends annoy me sometimes but I know I will still always choose them. I will choose them to sit next to, I will choose them to invite to a party, I will choose them over any petty disagreement or stressful event in our lives.Them being my friend will always mean more to me than almost anything we could fight over. That doesn’t mean we don’t argue, we do, we get really mad at each other – but we both know that if something happened, and one of us needed help, the other would drop everything and go.
And I would, I know that I would. If they really needed me I would call a taxi or sprint up the road. I would buy a plane ticket to Wellington or Christchurch or Dunedin. Find my way, at whatever means, to Sydney and New York and Kuala Lumpur. As fast as I could, no questions asked, because that’s what friends do.
They’re there for a laugh and good time and a group picture.
But they’re also the people who know what lines they shouldn’t cross. And who have your back. And who are there when you need them. They’re the people who care about you.
They’re also the people who read this blog so I don’t feel like i’m writing into thin air. (Thank you for reading this so I don’t feel like i’m writing into thin air). And, just so you know, I’m always going to want to hear about you and your lives. I want to listen to the music you’re creating and watch the films that you’ve made. I’ll read your poetry and look at your paintings and admire your cooking or a cool fact that you’ve found.
Because you loving things makes me kind of love them too.
And because you being around makes me really happy. Even if that’s not something we normally talk about, it does. This is my public-ish declaration that you matter a lot.
You make me happy, I love you for it.
And to me, it really is as simple as that.