I’ve returned for another night of island bliss and home cooked meals but the trade off is that I am out of internet, photos and ideas for this post.
Something I did find today was a note I wrote back in the distant past and it’s funny because at the time it wasn’t really about anyone but now I read it and it could be about a lot of people, but mainly me.
Sorry to post so many throwbacks but also all current me can think about is Christmas cake and bed and how grateful I am to be going to sleep so soon. Today was hectic and ridiculous and something I hope I remember in the future because it was exhausting but i have this really uncanny feeling like all the things in my life right now are things I want to hold on to. But also I can’t think properly about that right now I am too tired.
I guess that’s why my best advice is always to write it down. I have over 100 notes on my phone of just thoughts – including this piece of writing. It’s not a diary but it’s my feelings about things and it’s nice to have proof that I am an emotional nutcase but also nice to read back on. Also helpful if you ever have to write a blog post when you are really underprepared lol.
Anyway apologies for this shit quality I am falling asleep into my cake rn but I do love you!! And will try harder tomorrow when I have my laptop and also my energy back xx
Her worries were sleeping and the rushing thoughts were still and she realised that being with him was a quiet kind of beautiful. He was standing next to her and she could feel the warmth of his shoulder against her arm and the cool of the sea spray on her face and hear the rush of the waves mixing with the beat of her heart and in that moment she knew that she would love this boy for the rest of her life. It didn’t matter if he never loved her back or if after today they never spoke again, her heart was beating to the rhythm of this ocean that ebbed and flowed through both of their veins and she loved him, she loved him, she loved him.
In her life there would be many men with many faces and many stories and that she might fall in and out of love with all of them. But right now she knew that what she had with this boy, the one whose arm was pressed against her own, she didn’t want with anyone else ever. He was the boy she wore tight black jeans and cherry lipgloss for. The boy who tasted like gold and beer and felt like hot sand underneath her fingertips and whose laughter tangled like stars in her eyelashes. She loved him selflessly, she loved him recklessly. She never wanted to not.