Christmas in 5 #2 Memories: BLOGNY 2018

It was sunny and I wore my pale yellow jeans, pink diamanté t-shirt and this cool pink bomber jacket with tiny white polkadots on it. The air smelt kind of spicy and kind of sweet and I had gotten two new books as part of my present – the latest Jacqueline Wilson and Twilight. We…

Rough: BLOGNY 2018

Soft is ugly in a concrete world When you are in love or when you are somewhere familiar it is easy to be the velveteen, pink girls they all need you to be. It is easy to be softly spoken and to nod agreeably when people tell you are sweet and kind and gentle. You…

I Love Auckland (wtf): BLOGNY 2018

A shortlist of 5 reasons why: It’s easy to get dressed here and look okay. People are in their worst outfits or they’re looking outstandingly basic or they might be dressed to the height of fashion – but no one really cares. When you need to, it is always easy to fit the dress code…

6 Girls to Thank Today: BLOGNY 2018

She exudes confidence and joy. Looks beautiful in yellow. Always laughs at my jokes, her whole body shaking as she inhales, eyes lit up. She is always warm, easy to sling an arm around and talk to and she makes you feel included. Like it matters that you’re there. Picture a girl grooving soft to…

All Women: BLOGNY Day 5

I rely on my men. I let them hold my hand in the clubs, use them to block other guys with their body when I am too afraid to say no, or mostly when no didn’t work. I ask for them to walk me home, to wait up for me while I finish work. I…

sorry for writing it down: BLOGNY 2018

I watched as you left all the girls who came before I just didn’t think.   Two peas in a pod. Avoid, avoid, avoid it. Now you avoid me.   Text: “Hey how are you – how is work? Are you happy?’ Then I delete it.   I guess you hurt me Like really really…

12 Months: BLOGNY 2018

January is sand that blisters your feet from the heat, so you’re wading down a river letting the cool water rush green and brown, soothing your feet. It is the sticky and soft snuggles from your babies, the comfort of having them there curled up on your chest. It is the midnight kiss, the one…

zar loves tessa from zar (a title chosen by tessa)

And one day it became irreparable. It wasn’t just a phase or a stage – I was different. The woman in the mirror didn’t look the way I remembered her and that was the scariest feeling of all. But by happenstance, or some great design one day I also met people who liked me as…

A Letter to You #1

To whom it may concern, Or, to you. I’m not ambivalent to you. Right now we are less than friends but more than strangers. We have that in-between appreciation where we are not each other’s last choice. A relationship based off relief and convenience and inexplicably good timing. In this life we could be friends,…

Unlearning Sleepless Nights: The Feelings

I mess around with insomnia most nights. Silent. Watching the port lights shine white on the water. Our relationship is bruised and ugly but I don’t quit it because I like the stillness.I like being so exhausted that sleep comes in minutes instead of hours. I trade my mornings for moments and stay, gripping tight…